ELTON!! Elton John is coming to Newcastle. OMG.
To Newcastle? Why would EJ come to Newcastle?
As part of the final tour of course. The Farewell Yellow Brick Road Tour.
But I thought I had already been to The Farewell Yellow Brick Road tour. I thought it was at Hope Estate in January 2020 with around 20,000 others. It was a balmy Saturday night alright for fighting. Although the fighting I saw was restricted to a middle-age female patron skirmish incited by someone jumping the queue at the porta-loos. Someone yelled "we're all busting here, you selfish moll". And it was on. All class.
Is Elty pulling a Farnesy? Just to make sure I wasn't experiencing hallucinogenic persisting perception disorder - courtesy of a 1981 Balinese "milkshake" and back-to-back viewings of the 2010 film Inception, I searched the internets to check if the final tour had really already happened. My search led to the Unwind Hunter Valley website.
That's unwind pronounced unwined. Unwind pronounced un-wind could be used to describe ideal conditions for a Hunter Valley hot-air balloon ride, or by the Knights coach to describe what the team did against the Roosters last Friday night. Un-winned is a footy term for when the team consistently commences with gusto and then loses interest. Unwind informs me that "Elton John's Farewell Yelow (sic) Brick Road tour will be the last time he performs in Australia. Don't miss this!!"
The site advises the event was held at Pokoblin, which is a different way of spelling Pokolbin. Pokoblin sounds better, like a place where hobbits can live without fear. The Aussie Towns website claims Pokolbin is possibly a name used by the Darkinjung and means "a very hot place". The website also points out there is argument that Pokolbin is a Hungarian word meaning "in the hell". Take a casual grape picking gig up there in early February and make up your own mind which description fits best.
Last. Final. Whatever. Who cares? Disgruntled fan Sam Christie cared back in 2004. He lodged a complaint with the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) claiming Farnham's The Last Time tour, was not, in fact, his last major concert series.
Mr Christie claimed use of the word 'last' and statements implying the tour was the end of the road "might be viewed as bait advertising as they were calculated to ensure massive ticket and CD sales, by making the public believe Farnham was going into retirement, and this was the last time they could see him in a huge concert venue". Surely not.
The ACCC said there was no case for Farnesy's promoters to answer. The ACCC then returned to its core business advising Australians there has never been evidence of fuel price collusion among oil companies and that simultaneous, across-the-board lifting of the unleaded petrol price by 26.5 cents on Tuesday nights before school holidays is entirely coincidental.
The big questions around the use of the Turton Road stadium - where the dreams of Newcastle football and rugba league fans go to die - for concert use are practical ones.
Will full strength beer and wine be available to general admission ticketholders as they are at Hope Estate? Or will that be limited to the toffs in corporate boxes as occurs at the football and rugba? Will patrons be able to take any food into Turton Road? Because they can't at Hope Estate. It's tougher than Customs up there. I once got busted with the crumbs of a Jatz cracker in a jeans pocket.
Will a multitude of free buses be available from Charlestown, Newcastle, and Kotara to transport patrons before and after Reg's show? And has anyone considered the inconvenience caused by the simultaneous scheduling of Sir Elton at Turton and the vitally important telecast of the 36th match of the 2023 Big Bash League between the Adelaide Strikers and the Melbourne Renegades?
Will the western grandstand have a name by then? The Herald's Robert Dillon has pointed out the inconsistency of Venues NSW claiming they don't name stands after individuals anymore, yet the naming of the new Sydney Football Stadium stands makes that claim shameless BS.
On another BS. If promoters can persuade Bruce and the E Street band to play their final and last ever Australian Farewell, Goodbye Forever, Never Coming Back, That's All Folks, 50th Anniversary Born to Run tour concert at Turton Road in 2025, I will happily shell-out to go to every following absolutely last Broooce show there - even if it means forever missing Big Bash matches.
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